Where did you get a picture of my penis
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
