I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
