i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
