Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
pray to the hookup gods
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
