Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
