pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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