Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
