If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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