I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
