i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I touched a dick in church today
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
