marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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