Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
