The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
