im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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