the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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