just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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