someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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