Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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