he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So vagazzling was a success
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
