Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
