I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Come on in and take your pants off
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