things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
