Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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