I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Come share oat with me in your robe
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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