I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
