How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
