I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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