Is it because I queefed?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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