my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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