He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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