He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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