kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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