Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
