i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
