He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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