So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
