I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
