WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
