If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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