Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
