And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
