Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
