Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
