dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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