I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
