we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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