You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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