That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
