All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
