is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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