Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
